N's

I went this week to meet with G's teacher for his progress report for the 2nd quarter.  His regular teacher is out on maternity leave so the teacher that he has now is a sub.  Someone that we both know because she used to be the director of the school's extended day program.  The progress report, as far as grades, it couldn't have been better ... he got all A's, is reading way above grade level (2nd quarter of third grade, he is in second grade now) and O's (O = outstanding).  He also got 4 N's (N = needs improvement) ... these are more in the social/behavior areas ... listening, working independently, etc ... and get this ... the ONLY reason he is not in the Honor Roll this quarter is because of those N's.

Now that is some crapola right there.  I thought the Honor Roll had to do with grades.  I debated with her how he is in the classroom, 'cause knowing my child, I don't think he is that much different with her than with his regular teacher.  So she said that oh she might be more strict than the other teacher.  Ironic, a sub is stricter than a regular teacher.  She writes little things on his planner, "not following directions", "not completing his classwork", etc.  And I used to really get on him ... but after this little meeting, I think the reason he got all those N's have to do more with how she is and her strictness ... so I decided that I am going to ease on him, and let him be, well, a kid.

Punishment?

How do you punish your kid today?  In this age of "give me, give me, give me" and this sense of entitlement that they are growing up with?  

Maybe your parents didn't give you much and you are trying to compensate for what was not given to you?  Maybe they say "pretty please?", while they pout and bat those eyelashes and you just give in?  Or maybe you rationalize that life is too short and this is your kid and if you don't spoil him/her, who will?

I am guilty of giving in to those batting eyelashes.  I am guilty of rationalizing spoiling my child.  I am guilty of trying to compensate.

I am also painfully aware of this sense of entitlement that my kid is growing with.  And I am worried as to how to keep a balance.

I explained to him that the things we enjoy and need, are not free.  I work.  And I get paid for my work, therefore I also explained to him that his "job" is to go to school, behave in school and do his best in his classwork.  So when that does not get done, I have a problem with it.

Do you remember, when you were a kid, and you did something wrong in school, that the teacher would make you stand in front of the room and write a sentence over and over until you filled the blackboard?  Your hands would be white from the chalk.  You were probably coughing from all the chalk residue.  And you knew you couldn't sit down until you were done.  It didn't matter if your back hurt.  It didn't matter if your hand hurt.  That was your punishment and there was no question that you had to do what the teacher saw fit to do.  Period.  And you knew that your parents would not question the teacher's judgement.  And you knew that if your parents found out, you would have to deal with another punishment at home.

So I came up with a similar way of punishment and I am not sure if it is working completely yet.  I got a notebook and on the top of the page I write a sentence and he has to do two pages of that same sentence.  The sentence has to do with something that he did or did not do.  This week for example, it was a 3-day school week for them (no school on Monday and today Friday) so when I picked him up on Tuesday, he proudly announced he doesn't have homework to do, could he play Wii.  He got a fat NO when I read in his planner that he did not do any classwork in school.  Instead he got to writing "I will complete my classwork" over and over.

Was he happy?  No.  I explained to him that he will not get to do the things he likes to do if he doesn't do in school the things that he must do.

Did he do it?  Yes.  Did it work?  So far it seems to be working ... two straight days of him doing good in school, but we'll see what happens.  In the meantime I will make sure to keep a pencil sharpened and the notebook handy.

Red

My baby got ‘red’ at school today.

Well, let me backtrack and explain a bit. My baby boy - he is 6 yrs old, don’t tell him I call him my baby, lol - is in Kindergarten this year. His 1st year in school. Da Big School! … and they have a ‘grading’ system for how they do during the day… kinda like the traffic light… green is good, yellow is so-so and red is BAD!

So ever since school started, he has been getting greens and yellows… more greens than yellows so I wasn’t really worried. After all, I mean, he IS a kid, not a machine. He IS 6 yrs old, not 15… and this IS his 1st experience with the school system.

At one point, when I found out that he was sitting by himself, the colors didn’t mean crap to me because I felt that he was just pushed aside ’cause she didn’t want to deal with him. Later on she explained that it is a technique they have in school for the kids that get distracted easily so they can concentrate better and finish their work. Fine then.

My main worry is that he is held back a grade because, let’s be real, I wasn’t held back, his daddy wasn’t held back… that is just something that doesn’t happen, can’t happen in my book! I wasn’t the best student but dang, I was never held back. Anyway, teacher said that won’t be a reason for him to be held back… cool then!

Fast forward to today… I am at work… crazy as heck kinda day — not surprised to find out that tomorrow there is a full moon, ppl act loco in da coco around the full moon time! — and I check my cell phone and I have a missed call from the teacher… and NO message… my heart just SANK!

I panicked and started calling her back until someone patched me through and she is like… well he has been talking non stop! … and I am like… whoa, you mean he IS ok? – ’cause by then I am thinking SOMETHING MAJOR MUST have happened! — and she goes, oh yeah he is fine… I just have to talk to you about his talking… **picture moi just staring @ the cell perplexed** … and she ends the conversation by saying that he got a red today.

So excuse me if I am wrong but I think that hey, if he didn’t get his red until late April, that’s good in my book! lol I feel that now he feels really comfortable in school and hey, he is probably bored so he has to keep himself busy. Of course I will talk to him. Don’t get me wrong, he will get reprimanded. But since today his dad picked him up, I am sure that he will address it before me and I don’t see the need in him getting reprimanded twice.

Right now, am just waiting for my baby with open arms … am sure he got an earful from his dad already, he will just need mommy’s love when he gets home tonight.