A not-so-new roommate

So now I have a not-so-new roommate now.  My dad.  

Things I have to get used to again:  his smoking, his nagging, his drinking.  I also have to get used to have fresh-brewed coffee available to me as I get dressed to get to work.  To have my van on, nice and warm by the time I walk outside.  To not having to prepare my son's lunch to school every morning.  To have food ready for me when I get home from work.

Things he has to get used to again:  my messy home, my ignoring his nagging, my walking around my house in my underwear.  He also has to get used to getting kisses and hugs every morning and night before we go to bed.  To not have to worry about whether his monies will last him a month.  To have someone to drive him around.  To not have to do the dishes anymore.

I guess depending on how I look at it I can see it as either a curse or a blessing.  Maybe is not one or the other.  Maybe it is both.  And whatever it is, we will deal with it.  I am not going anywhere.  Neither is he.  I just think that this time around, we just need to be more clear about our expectations of each other and to set more clear boundaries.  And then, we will be ok.

I remember growing up and seeing my maternal grandparents maybe once a week.  My paternal grandmother I saw her maybe once or twice a year.  And now my kid will have his grandfather pretty much 24/7.  This morning he asked me if he could go give "abuelo" a kiss.  I am sure that is priceless to my dad.  And it is to me too.  Mom left us too soon.  And I would like to think that, as we spend time with my dad, in a way, my mom is feeling those hugs, those kisses, that love.

So yeah, I have a not-so-new roomie ... and I think we will be just fine.

umbrellas & memories

The other night I went to Wal Mart with G after school. It was raining. A lot. As we were walking into the store, he goes:

G: oh mami, I remembered something!

me: what did you remembered?

G: one time, when abuela was alive, I went for a walk with her. But it wasn't raining like now, it was sunny.

me: ahhhhhh yeah, if it is really sunny, is a good idea to walk with an umbrella and that way the sun won't feel so hot on you.

G: yeah yeah ... I think that is why she did it ....

(he then stayed quiet for a minute that seemed like forever and then he said...)

G: do you miss abuela mami? I miss her a lot.

me: yeah I do, I miss her a lot too ... but how do you feel when you remember something about her, like the walk with the umbrella?

G: happy, just the same way as when she was alive ...

me: well, when you remember stuff like that ... those are memories ... and as long as we keep abuela's memories by remembering ... we won't miss her that much ...

G: that sounds like a plan mami ... I love you ....

and then he hugged me ... this conversation took place only from the parking lot to get into the store ... but the memory of this converstation is still making my heart smile ...