-*- 2 years -*-

... 6-24-2011 ... that date marked 2 years since mom passed away ...

I have been dealing with a lots of ups and downs lately.  I know I haven't blogged in a while.  Ironically how one feels guilty for not blogging.  Weird.

Dad is back with me.  He moved back in January of this year.  It has not been easy.  My garage looks like something from the tv show "Hoarders" ... not a pretty sight.  He has been dealing with bouts of depression, understandably so.  And thankfully, he listened to my advice and went to see a counselor.

My son is doing good - thanks for asking ;-)  He started orthodontic treatment in the month of May and now has upper and lower expander.  I have him in summer camp at the same day care where he used to go when he was a baby.  It is also a big help that it is right across the street from my office.

We have some changes at work and well, when you work for the government, is good that you don't get too attached to sides 'cause you never know who you will be working with in a year or two.  I am a believer that change always brings something good.  So I am looking forward to the changes that are coming.

Like I wrote at the beginning, on Friday June 24th, it was 2 years since mom passed away.  I can say that a day does not go by in which I don't think about her.  Not a day.  I took that day off and went to the beach with my dad and the boys.  My dad went to buy flowers to throw them at sea and well, they were wrongly marked and well, the flowers ended up being free.  Coincidence?  I think not.  And well, the beach is one of my mom's favorite places to be.  It was a beautiful sunny day.  The waves were a bit rough but the kids had a ball.

The next day we went to Mass and it would have been one that she would have truly enjoyed, with lively music and all of us there together.  I could just see her dressed up, with all her jewelry and clapping as she sang away.

I will never understand why she was taken away from us while she still had so much to live.  I know that she was in a lot of pain.  And she didn't deserve it.  No one does.

I would like to think that she watches over us and she is in a better place, with those that left before us, without pain, without suffering.

A not-so-new roommate

So now I have a not-so-new roommate now.  My dad.  

Things I have to get used to again:  his smoking, his nagging, his drinking.  I also have to get used to have fresh-brewed coffee available to me as I get dressed to get to work.  To have my van on, nice and warm by the time I walk outside.  To not having to prepare my son's lunch to school every morning.  To have food ready for me when I get home from work.

Things he has to get used to again:  my messy home, my ignoring his nagging, my walking around my house in my underwear.  He also has to get used to getting kisses and hugs every morning and night before we go to bed.  To not have to worry about whether his monies will last him a month.  To have someone to drive him around.  To not have to do the dishes anymore.

I guess depending on how I look at it I can see it as either a curse or a blessing.  Maybe is not one or the other.  Maybe it is both.  And whatever it is, we will deal with it.  I am not going anywhere.  Neither is he.  I just think that this time around, we just need to be more clear about our expectations of each other and to set more clear boundaries.  And then, we will be ok.

I remember growing up and seeing my maternal grandparents maybe once a week.  My paternal grandmother I saw her maybe once or twice a year.  And now my kid will have his grandfather pretty much 24/7.  This morning he asked me if he could go give "abuelo" a kiss.  I am sure that is priceless to my dad.  And it is to me too.  Mom left us too soon.  And I would like to think that, as we spend time with my dad, in a way, my mom is feeling those hugs, those kisses, that love.

So yeah, I have a not-so-new roomie ... and I think we will be just fine.