Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Wedding Band

Yesterday afternoon, my neighbor texted me - "can you come outside for a second" - strange text, but I was home and well, I went outside.  He asked me if I lost something, I told him "not that I know of" and he goes, "well, we found this ring, in your yard" ... and he showed me a ring, a wedding band. 
My dad's wedding band.
I took it, looked inside and sure enough, it said "Con Amor, Elsa  23-8-69" (= with love Elsa and their wedding date) ... "yep, that's my dad ring for sure" I said ... and I went inside my house to ask my dad if he lost something ... I knew he raked leaves earlier, so I figured he lost it then ...
I went to my dad's room and I asked him if he lost something.  He looked puzzled.  I asked again and he got up from his chair and came closer to me as I opened my hand and the ring was laying inside.
He looked at me.  He looked at the ring.  He took the ring in his hand and looked at it again.  He looked inside and it was like if he had seen a ghost.  He dropped it on his desk as if the ring was a burning coal.  He looked at me and stuttered as he asked how, what, where, when ... then he said "that ring has been lost for 5 if not 6 years."
To say he was overjoyed is an understatement.  To him, this is not just a lost ring.  To him, this is a message from mom, that no matter what, they will be together, their marriage has not been affected by her untimely death.  Those were pretty much his words.
Words that sounded pretty romantic, nostalgic in a sense.  And at the same time, sad words.  The reality is, mom is not here anymore ... and my dad, he is not that old ... who said it is wrong for him to move on?  It doesn't mean that he didn't love my mother, that he didn't do everything under the sun to take care of her.  And she is no longer here with us.  And I know he hasn't been able to move past her death.  I can tell.
So I don't know what to do.  Mom is like the white elephant in the room.  He just doesn't talk to me about it.  Neither do I.  Am I over her death?  I don't know.  I miss her, I can tell you that.  At the same time, I have a little one that looks up to me so I just had to do like that little engine that could ... I think I can I think I can .... and I shugged along. 
I just hope that finding this ring will not turn into a curse instead of a blessing.

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