The boys @ the beach

6-24-2011, Cocoa Beach, FL

-*- 2 years -*-

... 6-24-2011 ... that date marked 2 years since mom passed away ...

I have been dealing with a lots of ups and downs lately.  I know I haven't blogged in a while.  Ironically how one feels guilty for not blogging.  Weird.

Dad is back with me.  He moved back in January of this year.  It has not been easy.  My garage looks like something from the tv show "Hoarders" ... not a pretty sight.  He has been dealing with bouts of depression, understandably so.  And thankfully, he listened to my advice and went to see a counselor.

My son is doing good - thanks for asking ;-)  He started orthodontic treatment in the month of May and now has upper and lower expander.  I have him in summer camp at the same day care where he used to go when he was a baby.  It is also a big help that it is right across the street from my office.

We have some changes at work and well, when you work for the government, is good that you don't get too attached to sides 'cause you never know who you will be working with in a year or two.  I am a believer that change always brings something good.  So I am looking forward to the changes that are coming.

Like I wrote at the beginning, on Friday June 24th, it was 2 years since mom passed away.  I can say that a day does not go by in which I don't think about her.  Not a day.  I took that day off and went to the beach with my dad and the boys.  My dad went to buy flowers to throw them at sea and well, they were wrongly marked and well, the flowers ended up being free.  Coincidence?  I think not.  And well, the beach is one of my mom's favorite places to be.  It was a beautiful sunny day.  The waves were a bit rough but the kids had a ball.

The next day we went to Mass and it would have been one that she would have truly enjoyed, with lively music and all of us there together.  I could just see her dressed up, with all her jewelry and clapping as she sang away.

I will never understand why she was taken away from us while she still had so much to live.  I know that she was in a lot of pain.  And she didn't deserve it.  No one does.

I would like to think that she watches over us and she is in a better place, with those that left before us, without pain, without suffering.

my sister's birthday

Today is my sister's birthday ... I took the day off to spend it with her, to do whatever she wanted to do, however the main thing we planned to do was head out to the beach (Cocoa Beach), take some flowers and a balloon so we could do our own private goodbye to our mom ... as I type this my dad is in PR and tomorrow afternoon he will spread mom's ashes at Buye Beach in Cabo Rojo, Puerto Rico... so we wanted to do our own thing since we are not in PR and cannot be with our dad at that time.

We got pink carnations and a balloon that read "Welcome Home" ... drove around until we found free parking pretty close to the beach. By the time we parked it was close to noon and in one word it was HAWT! lol We walked around until we found a spot that was pretty much isolated from the people that were there. We stared at the waves coming and going and before I knew it, I heard my sister talk to my mom ... and the tears started... we cried as we both said our goodbyes and prayers... then we let the balloon go and just held each other as we cried... she was really close to her and I know this is pretty hard on her. She then gave me some carnations and I walked further in the water, couldn't stop myself from crying and all of a sudden, bam! a wave threw me backwards and my sis and I just started laughing! We both said that was mom telling us "ha! I gotcha!" As hard as we cried before we just laughed then ... it just felt right to be there with my sister and doing what we did ... she will never be forgotten...

The rest of the day was spent between going to Ron Jon's, picking up my son and going to Denny's for some grub... sis said it was a great day for her... mission accomplished!